Improving Relationships.

Relationships are so. freaking. hard. Effectively, a relationship is the coming together of two evolving, unique human beings. This means that you bring your baggage and they bring theirs, and somehow you are expected to create a safe and nurturing connection. Many of us do this blindly without a lot of self-awareness, which can lead to repetitive patterns. Have you ever asked yourself why you are attracted to someone, or why you keep making the same mistakes in friendships? It can be frustrating to want to change something but not sure how to.

The truth is that our subconscious mind is a major contributor to our relationship patterns. One example is our attachment style. Each of us is born with a desire to connect. You need your caregiver/primary attachment figure to help you stay alive afterall. However, depending on how that goes, you may start to equate attaching with hurt or disappointment. Or perhaps this happened in a critical adult relationship. Whatever the reason, attaching - i.e., trusting, connecting, expressing needs - with another can become synonymous with pain. Now, enter that innate drive for a connection and your psyche has a dilemma on its hands.

This is why I incorporate attachment discovery work in my therapy. We can not change what we do not understand. I also believe in the power of a relationship with Self. It is likely that your way of relating with yourself is impacting how you feel in other relationships. If you believe you are unworthy of love, or unable to trust yourself, it can be challenging to build a healthy connection with others. Your relationship with your inner parts is something I pay special attention to.

Taking the time to explore and build healthier habits takes real work. Given the importance of the human bond, there is no time like the present to dive in!